chains and the ragdoll cliff
OPENING HAIKU BEGIN
morose in garage
i scrubbed and linked and degreased
my neglected bike.
OPENING HAIKU END

it's been a tough weekend. i feel like someone stuck pins shallowly into my brain, and they're slowly working their way through. also my brain is resting in a shallow dish of oil that's a little too warm for comfort. also precariously resting on top of my brain is a snow globe with cheaply molded disney knock-off characters. it's like when you're slouching on a couch and your posture keeps getting worse but you're SO SLEEPY that you don't even want to reposition yourself, and you know you're going to suffer for it later.

it's the kind of weekend in which i concoct hardly ambitious plans to get things done, and fail by procrastinating until it's too late. i'm trying to distract myself until things feel smoother.

i've been meaning to develop better post-ride habits.. i know i should be maintaining my bike consistently, rather than waiting until it needs new everything and hours of cleaning, but it's so easy to just postpone it when i'm exhausted after a ride.

i could poetically draw parallels between how i treat my bike and how i'm dealing with my depression, but the epidemic is self-propogating. i just need to stop looking for external causes and associations. just keep breathing, and treat myself better than i'm willing to accept.